Then on New Years Day 2018, I woke up unhappy and knew something needed to change. I found a plus size Bootcamp and running group and never looked back. I found a love for running.
My mate ran Virgin London Marathon (VLM) in 2018 and came back full of amazing stories and it ignited a desire on my belly to do it. 2019 being my year – as I turn 40 in August – I also decided to run for a charity close to my heart and to show my little boy that if you reach for the stars you can do anything.
But the best bit was my little boy who came running up with his arms wide open, flung them ’round me and told me he loved me just the way I am – for that one moment, the 26.2 miles were totally worth it.
But the tightest part was knowing that my family were out along the course with no means to track me. My family and friends at home supporting me would not know I was okay or where I was.
I felt alone for a large part of the run and embarrassed and ashamed. My little boy saw me at Canary Wharf and told me I should run faster and I kept crying and saying I was sorry. However, my rock – my hubby – had faith in me and knew I would do it.
Since finishing London, I have had messages from all over the world from people saying I inspire them (this is something I find quite uncomfortable with, to be honest) but people have also thanked me for being open about miscarriage and raising awareness. I have also managed to raise just over £13,000 with gift aid for the amazing Miscarriage Association which I am so thankful for.
To me, running the London Marathon was about far more then just running. It was a whole journey about accepting my miscarriages and about publicly saying I am a Mummy of 6. Miscarriage is such a taboo subject and something I never spoke about until I signed up for London.
But the most rewarding thing was that I didn’t give up, I never once thought about stopping. I saw a lady at about 17 miles who saw who I was running for. She hugged me and we both cried. She made me promise that I would finish for her three angels – and I did. I completed London for all angel babies.
But ultimately I did it for me to show I can and I did it for my little boy as part of a get fit journey so he can have the bestest Mummy he can.
I also thought a lot about both my parents who had sadly passed away and wanting to make them proud.
When the training got tough, I remembered why I started the journey and all the time I thought about my 5 angels and my rainbow.
The best thing that happened to me was waking up on that New Years Day 2018 feeling unhappy and seeing the ad for that plus size running group.
My VLM experience will stay with me forever and when I look back I only see the positives. As I tell my little boy, reach for the stars and anything is possible.
Lace up those trainers. The hardest step is that first step but if I can …. you can.
Follow Kerrie’s running journey on her FB page: Kez’s Great Big Marathon Journey